Truth is simple, but it's not always easy to believe.
The first time I heard a didgeridoo I thought it was a horrible sound that no one ought to create. Now I know my reaction was shallow and misguided. In the right hands, the didgeridoo is a magical instrument designed to move energy through the body. It can move negative stuck energy out of the body and pull in positive protective earth energy into our field.
In the hands of an intentional musician the tones of the didgeridoo moves earth energy though the body.
I experienced this powerful shifting energy firsthand at the Brahmin Kumeris Meditation Centre in the Blue Mountains in Australia. I sat in a chair in a large empty room with hands in my lap in relaxation. Warren pointed his didgeridoo towards the ground near my feet and blew through the large tube. The feeling was immediate and palpable, the vibrations moved from the floor up through my feet and straight up through by body to the top of my head.
The tones vibrated through me and filled me with a sense of peaceful connectivity - a feeling of peace I have to describe as potent as opposed to passive - energized, powerful, and effective. I was left with the feeling of contentment that wasn't quite contentment but more of a quiet drive to move as intended, along my path to write my book in the way that will resonate for everyone who needs to read it, and get my book out into the world.
Just because something is true doesn't make it easy to believe.
My book is based on a simple truth, the fact that we are each the most important person in our life. It's a certainty that exists at the core of our human experience, but that doesn't mean it's easy to believe. I believe we've been conned culturally for generations to believe that in order to serve others we have to ignore ourselves. That is why the statement itself, 'I am the most important person' is provocative and sounds mean and selfish. I've had to defend the principle more than once when I bring it up in conversation.
MOST Important is not MORE Important.
Invariably I encountered negative responses when I asked people, "What do think of the statement, 'I'm the most important person in the room'? The overwhelming and typical response was, "No, can't think that, it's selfish and wrong.' I understood that response because it was exactly the same response I had the first time I heard the idea. When we hear the statement, "I'm the MOST important person" we translate that as 'MORE important'. It's like an automatic reaction. After pointing out the difference, some people resisted longer than others but eventually everyone came to see the simple truth of the statement.
Being the most important makes us better.
Not until I met Sally, the director of the Brahmin Kumeris Meditation Centre did I hear a response that contributed to my understanding of the principle in a meaningful way. I asked Sally to describe what she felt when she said to herself, 'I’m the most important person in the room.' and her response changed me. She said, "It really makes me think I want to do good, that I want to be the very best I can. The most important person can’t be ordinary. You have to be something really good. That’s how it makes me feel. It’s a really beautiful idea."
The simple truth is the easiest to share.
She captured the essence of this simple truth I want to share, and reignited my passion to show up and keep writing. Sally's wisdom was a balm to my worried nature, my fear of offending people and losing friends. I knew that issue was a product of my little ego and asked Sally if there was a way of thinking of ego in BK that might help me get over mine.
Regarding the Ego, there are three types of 'I'.
Sally began by telling me it's complicated. "It’s really the idea of three types of I. There is the I of superiority, where I think I’m better than anyone else. There is the I of inferiority which I think is everyone is better than me. And neither of those is good, neither of those give us happiness. And the third one is the I of self-respect and because I respect myself I then respect everyone. It’s still ego but you could say it’s the right ego.
I was relieved to think that there is a 'right ego.' Sally continued, "It’s the personality, It’s who I am. And if I have respect for who I am I will naturally respect everyone else. And self respect is the key to it all because if I have self-respect I won’t do anything mean or nasty or hurtful, hurt anyone’s heart or laugh at others, criticize others, if If I have self-respect I won’t do any of those.
To have self-respect for others you have to have self-respect for yourself first.
It can seem a bit counter intuitive, that you have to have self respect in order to respect others. Sally explained how it works. "If I put myself down, then I put others down as well. If I haven’t got any respect for myself, you can say self-respect or you can say self-love. If I don’t have any self-love then I can’t love anyone else. I’ll mistake what they do for having other motives rather than doing it out of the goodness of their heart. I won't believe other people can be good.
We've been trained to think we should go last to be good.
"Just that thing about the importance, 'you’re the most important’ - it’s a different thing, because everyone’s been taught to go last in line, let everyone else go first. When I was a mother and I used to serve my kids and I’d serve myself last, my kids would say, “Why do you serve yourself last?” And I’d say I want to make sure you all get enough. And they’d say, “You’re important too.” I could never serve myself before everyone else, you wouldn’t would you, serve yourself before you serve everyone else, would you. The important, that’s the word that really gets everyone."
Put ourselves first and do good from a place of personal joy.
We can make a choice that’s best for us, and it can be the choice to serve everybody else. If that's what’s best for you, you can do that. Sally helped me understand that the intention behind our choice can come from joy and happiness. We can delight in serving others rather than think of it as an obligation or an act that's going to get me to heaven.
The most powerful lesson, serve our joy.
Towards the end of our hour together, Sally reminded me that a creative project is the same as children, they move through us and become something separate, they aren't something on which to attach out self-worth. Sally said, "The song is not for you, it comes through you, it’s like Gibran, like he says, they come through you but they’re not of you. It’s the same with the book and the song, it’s come through you but it’s not you, you’re just the instrument that it’s come through.
I heard the verse from ON CHILDREN by Gibran then, 'Your children are not your children. They are the son’s and daughter’s of life’s longing for itself.'
The simplest truth is the most powerful.
Children, songs, books, every product of our creative passions, they are not us, we are nothing but the vehicle for the creation to move through.
Sally helped me open the space in my mind to become a vehicle for the book I am writing. Let go of struggle she was saying, let go, be open, write the book.